Resisting persuasion

Techniques > Resisting persuasion

Being persuaded is something that happens to all of us at various times. The problem is that many of us later regret having been taken in and wish we were more skilled at resisting the smooth talk of others. For you, here are a set of techniques that can be used to slow down the proceedings and hold your own (and for persuaders, these are just a few of the things you may face).

• Attack: The best form of defending is sometimes to attack.
• Blame: Make something their fault (and demand reparation).
• Broken record: Keep repeating your refusal.
• Can't afford it: Show how you can't afford what is being suggested.
• Confusion: Act confused and put them off their stride.
• Data dump: When they ask for information, cover them in detail.
• Digression: Go off on a side track of talk.
• Denial: Say that something is not true or did not happen.
• Embrace, extend, extinguish: Pretend to agree then destroy.
• Escalation: If you are pressured, get help.
• Fake anger: Get cross and let them try to calm you down.
• Fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD): Sow seeds that make them less certain.
• Filibustering: Non-stop talk to prevent others making their case.
• Flight into health: Your problems magically go away.
• Fuzzing: Keep things abstract and general.
• Gaze avoidance: Do not get into a staring battle.
• Higher authority: Refer the decision to a higher authority.
• High ground: Grab the moral high ground and you are always right.
• Hmm: Small noises that distract and confuse.
• Ignorance: Profess ignorance in the topic.
• I'll think about it: Slow things down. Give yourself time.
• Illogic: Use arguments that do not make sense.
• Impracticality: Say 'that won't work' or 'It's only theory'.
• Interruption: Break up their flow with constant interruptions.
• Mismatching: Do not let them copy you.
• More data: Keep asking for more data.
• Name the game: Tell them the tricks they are playing.
• Not my job: Refuse work by claiming it is not your job.
• Not surprised: Don't be impressed, whatever they do.
• Only theory: Discount ideas and explanations as 'only theory'.
• Pre-empting: Destroy their argument before they begin.
• Procrastination: Put off until tomorrow the things you're asked to do.
• Qualifications: Counter a show of qualifications with better ones.
• Say no: Just say no. That's all.
• Selective response: Only answer some things. Ignore the rest.
• Silence: Say nothing (and watch them squirm).
• Splitting hairs: Argue the detail.
• Stonewalling: Holding to one position, no matter what is said.
• Surprised: Be shocked that they would say such a thing.
• Tears: If you can, get upset and turn on the tears.
• Too...: Too early, too late, too expensive, etc.
• Tried it: Say you've tried what is being suggested before (and it didn't work).
• Truth: Telling the truth 'shall set you free'.
• Unavailable: When they try to see you, be unavailable.
• Unfair process: Object to the process. Say it's unfair.
• What about: Complexify by asking 'what about...'.
• Won't work: Say that what is suggested will not work.
• Yes, but: Agree, then show how they are wrong.
• Yes, yes, no: Agree until you are asked to commit. Then say no.

See also

Rules for respondents, Objection-handling, Resistance to change, Defensive body language, Questioning, Fallacies, Coping Mechanisms, Theories about resistance