How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

Gotcha

Techniques > Resisting persuasion > Gotcha

Method | Example | Discussion | See also

Method

Indicate that you have caught them out in some way, exposing the deception or other bad thing that they have done, whether deliberately or accidentally.

Show how they have not followed the rules. Talk about how they have deceived you or others in the past. Tell them how trust has been betrayed. Point out inconsistencies in what they have said, even small ones.

Make it all out to be a big thing, even if the transgressions are quite minor or a result of forgetfulness. Cry 'foul' and either ask for reparation or refuse to continue with them.

Example

You're been trying to show I should trust you, but I spoke with Jeanne McGuire yesterday and she told me about how you betrayed her. How can I now trust you?

You said last week that you would include return options in the contract but I can't find them anywhere. What are you up to? I'm certainly not going to sign this.

Discussion

By showing how the person is either incompetent or bad in some way, you have a good excuse to throw them out or reject their proposals.

This can also put them on the back foot, such that they have to justify themselves and explain how it was all a terrible misunderstanding. In 'allowing' them to return your favor you can demand certain concessions of them.