How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

Excuses

Techniques > Conversation techniques > Excuses

When you make a mistake or a deception is found out, then what do you do? You can excuse yourself in some way or you can apologize, saying 'excuse me' in some way.

Acceptance: Take the blame, with integrity.
Accident: I couldn't help it.
Bolstering: I'm a nice person. I can't have done it.
Common Practice: Everybody does it.
Counterattack: Fight back, personally.
Deflection: Pointing the finger elsewhere.
Distraction: Change the subject.
Explaining: Extenuating circumstances.
External forces: The dog ate it.
Forgetting: Memory fade.
Good Intention: I was trying to be nice.
Illness: I was too sick.
Minimization: Making a big thing seem small.
Misunderstanding: I didn't mean it like that.
Moral Indignation: Claim the high ground.
Provocation: Wind them up.
Restitution: Offering compensation.
Social Priority: Family/friend emergency.
Transcendence: A higher purpose.
Unlikely: Make it improbable.

And...

A Good Excuse: External, uncontrollable, unintentional.
Linkage and Valence: Two attributes of excuses.
Schlenker’s Triangle: Three excuses for failing.
Justification and Excuse: Not the same thing.
Apologia Models: Academic models.
Moore's Causal Theory of Excuse: In a legal context.

Excuses

See also