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Assertiveness

Techniques > Assertiveness

Understanding assertiveness | Being assertive | See also

Assertive behavior is one of the most powerful ways of acting in interacting with other people.

Understanding assertiveness

Assertiveness is widely misunderstood, often equated with aggression, which is not. Here's more detail to give you a firm foundation in this area.

• Assertiveness is: Submissive, assertive, and aggressive behavior.
• Aggressive behavior: Being aggressive is not being assertive.
• Submissive behavior: Being submissive is not being assertive.
• Comparing behaviors: Comparing assertive, aggressive and submissive.
• Building assertive beliefs: Beliefs drive behaviors.

Being assertive

Once you now know what assertiveness is, then here are some methods to help you on your way.

• Asking: Asking the other person to do something.
• Assertive Body Language: Non-verbals that work.
• Disagreeing: Disagreeing with what they say and stating your own case.
• Expressing Feelings: Saying what you feel.
• Giving criticism: Constructively helping others improve.
• My Agenda, Your Agenda: Balancing motivations.
• Praise: Giving and getting it.
• Receiving criticism: Taking criticism positively.
• Saying no: Refusing, even when it is hard.
• Standing up for your rights: You can have what is rightfully yours.
• Saying what you want: You can want anything.
• Speaking your truths: Saying what you believe.
• The three-part message: Their behavior, your feelings, wider effects.
• Your Bill of Rights: Know your rights.

See also

Floppy language, Transactional Analysis, Interrupting, Negotiation, Assertion fallacy, Perceptual language

Assumption principle, Authority principle, Persistence principle

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