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Be Strong

 

Explanations > Motivation > Kahler's drivers > Be Strong

Imperative | Identification | Benefits | Problems | Treatment | So what?

 

This is one of the five drivers originally identified in the field of Transactional Analysis by Taibi Kahler. Here are some simple and useful notes on it.

Imperative

  • I must be invulnerable at all times. I must not cry or show any weakness.
  • I cannot express emotions. I must help others but not myself (I do not need help).

Identification

  • Aggressive or assertive attitude, demonstrating strength in attitude.
  • Objective language, distancing themselves from their feelings. Avoids 'I' language and any talk about emotions.
  • Frozen face and body, hiding emotions.
  • Will take on all tasks without complaint.

Benefits

  • Good for getting things done, especially in a crisis.
  • Does not take things personally or get sucked into emotional situations.
  • Generous, always helping others before self.

Problems

  • Withdrawn under stress as they hold emotions in. Refusal to acknowledge they are stressed.
  • Bottled-up emotions that may explode outwards onto others or be held in and do internal damage.
  • Can get into 'who is the strongest' competitions with others, especially those who also have powerful 'be strong' drivers.
  • Expecting others to be strong. Contempt for the weak.

Treatment

  • Praise for consideration of the feelings of others.
  • Put them in slightly vulnerable situations and praise their handling and exposure of emotions. Only make them as vulnerable as they can handle without going into Fight-or-Flight.
  • Be considerate about their emotions. Show that you recognize them and that it is ok for them to have feelings.
  • Show them that they are not to blame for things, including their own internal issues.
  • Help them receive with good grace as well as give to others.
  • Help them see where their strength appears as a threat to others.

So what?

Recognize these drivers in yourself and others and treat them accordingly.

See also

Ellis' Irrational Beliefs, A-player problems

 

Kahler, T. (1975). Drivers—The Key to the Process Script.  Transactional Analysis Journal, 5:3

 

http://www.kahlercommunications.com/

 

 

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