changingminds.org

How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

| Menu | Quick | Books | Share | Search | Settings |

Pre-thanking

 

Techniques General persuasion > Articles on persuasion > Pre-thanking

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

 

Description

If you want to persuade somebody to do something, first ask them to do it and then, before they have time to respond, thank them for doing it.

Example

Hi, can you close the door? Thanks -- that's very kind of you.

Could you lend me fifty? Thanks, I know it's awkward but I know you're a great friend and I'll pay you back tomorrow.

Discussion

A thanks is an act of closure, sending a signal for the completion of an agreement. An effusive thanks (but not over-done) can help cement the closure. This makes it difficult for the other person to 're-open' the case and contradict this.

Do be careful when doing this -- if you ask for more than the relationship will bear then the relationship will suffer as a result, even if the person complies with the request.

It can be useful sometimes to include an apology for having to ask. This increases the obligation to comply as you have now addressed any irritated thoughts by the other person and maybe made them feel a bit guilty for thinking them (as it seems clear you have 'found them out' for having such uncharitable thoughts).

A variant on this is to put the thanks before the request. This is not as effective and can be quite irritating.

Thank you for not putting your feet on the table.

By putting the thanks beforehand, the other person is initially confused and is more likely to feel deceived by the subsequent request. Having said this, this form of the pattern is common in some cultures where it is accepted as normal.

See also

Closure principle, Tension principle, Pre-apology

 

Site Menu

| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings |

Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories |

Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Links | Help |

More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes |

Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font |

 

You can buy books here

More Kindle books:

And the big
paperback book


Look inside

 

Please help and share:

 

Quick links

Disciplines

* Argument
Brand management
* Change Management
Coaching
+ Communication
Counseling
+ Game Design
+ Human Resources
+ Job-finding
* Leadership
+ Marketing
Politics
+ Propaganda
+ Rhetoric
* Negotiation
* Psychoanalysis
* Sales
Sociology
+ Storytelling
+ Teaching
* Warfare
Workplace design

Techniques

+ Assertiveness
* Body language
* Change techniques
* Closing techniques
+ Conversation
Confidence tricks
* Conversion
* Creative techniques
* General techniques
+ Happiness
+ Hypnotism
+ Interrogation
* Language
+ Listening
* Negotiation tactics
* Objection handling
+ Propaganda
* Problem-solving
* Public speaking
+ Questioning
+ Using repetition
* Resisting persuasion
+ Self-development
+ Sequential requests
Stress Management
* Tipping
Using humor
* Willpower

Principles

+ Principles

Explanations

* Behaviors
+ Beliefs
* Brain stuff
Conditioning
+ Coping Mechanisms
+ Critical Theory
+ Culture
+ Decisions
* Emotions
+ Evolution
Gender
+ Games
Groups
+ Identity
+ Learning
+ Meaning
Memory
+ Motivation
+ Models
* Needs
+ Personality
+ Power
* Preferences
+ Research
+ Relationships
+ SIFT Model
+ Social Research
Stress
+ Trust
+ Values

Theories

* Alphabetic list
* Theory types

And

- About
- Guest Articles
- Blog!
- Books
- Changes
- Contact
- Guestbook
- Links
- Quotes
- Students
- Webmasters

 

| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links |

Changing Minds 2002-2014
Massive Content -- Maximum Speed