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Co-location

 

Techniques > Conversation techniques > Building rapport > Co-location

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

 

Description

Arrange to be near the other person on a regular basis. Do not hurry to ingratiate yourself. Start just by saying hello in passing and gradually build the relationship from there.

Example

 A software engineer who wants to build a relationship with the marketing department arranges to move nearby during development work.

A person moves into a house and decides they like the people nearby. They say hello in passing and gradually join in local activities.

A woman who fancies a man manages to commute to work on the same train.

Discussion

Familiarity breeds friendship far less than contempt. In a number of studies of friendship, it was found that people who lived near one another were likely to become friends. Friendship is hence mostly a product of opportunity.

When you regularly see most people, you learn that they are not a threat and that getting to know them is easy. And when you get to know people, you often find that they are quite nice, as most people actually are.

Friendship does require effort, nevertheless, and many people do not get to know the people next door, particularly in more reserved cultures (like England). When given an opportunity, you have to take it.

See also

Bonding principle, Experience principle

 

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