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Self vs. Others preference
Explanations > Preferences > Self vs. Others preference
One of the basic social dilemmas is the extent to which we put ourselves first or whether we put other people first.
Self
People with a 'me' focus put themselves first in all decisions where they are interacting or otherwise considering other people. Their focus is often on their sense identity which may not be strong enough to stand up without constant reassurance.
They may have a founding belief that all people are basically selfish and that the only way to succeed is to 'look after number one'.
Although they are self-centered, they may not necessarily selfish, for example they may appear moderately considerate but this is typically only done because they realize that they may be socially punished for appearing too selfish.
It is philosophically arguable that all we can do is to be self-centered because we are indeed at the 'center of the known universe'. We can thus point out that charitable acts are done because it makes us feel good. Nevertheless, there is still a difference in thinking and acting between those who focus mostly on themselves and those who focus mostly on others.
Others
People who focus first on others believe that helping others is the best way to help themselves, although in full prosocial behavior this self-benefit consideration may be hardly considered, if at all.
Other-oriented people typically see the world as a basically good (or at least neutral) place, and that within a society and as social animals, it is our duty to help one another, and that selfishness is the root of most acts evil.
So what?
With self-oriented people, frame persuasions in terms of the threats and benefits to them as individuals. Focus on the WIIFM factors (What's In It For Me). If they feel threatened by others, be conspiratorial and show how they can get things for themselves without others knowing.
With other-focused people, talk about threats or benefits to the group, the company or to society at large. Do not appear selfish yourself.
See also
Task vs. Person preference, Extraversion vs. Introversion
Social Identity Theory, Prosocial Behavior
Bass, B.M. and Dunteman, G. "Behaviour in Groups as a Function of Self, Interaction and Task Orientation." Journal of Abnormal Social Psychology. Vol. 66, Num. 4, 1963, pp 19 – 28.
Spain, J.S., Eaton, L.G., & Funder, D.C. (2000). Perspectives on personality: The Relative accuracy of self vs. others for the prediction of behavior and emotion. Journal of Personality, 68, 837-867.
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