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Be Perfect

 

Explanations > Motivation > Kahler's drivers > Be Perfect

Imperative | Identification | Benefits | Problems | Treatment | So what?

 

This is one of the five drivers originally identified in the field of Transactional Analysis by Taibi Kahler. Here are some simple and useful notes on it.

Imperative

  • I must be perfect, wonderful, correct in every way.
  • I must succeed in everything I do.
  • I must get top marks and win.

Identification

  • Exact language, including qualification when they are not sure, such as 'probably', and absolutes when they are, such as 'absolutely'.
  • Always neat and well-groomed.
  • Never completely satisfied with what they do.

Benefits

  • Hard-working, with excellent quality output.
  • May achieve great things.

Problems

  • Fears of failure and losing control, and subsequent over-compensation.
  • Over-work. Not finishing things for fear of criticism.
  • Expecting others to be perfect too.

Treatment

  • Laughter.
  • Praise, including for less-than-perfect work.
  • Reframing of what 'perfect' really means to 'enough'.
  • Be very specific with criticism (and praise).

So what?

Recognize these drivers in yourself and others and treat them accordingly.

See also

Ellis' Irrational Beliefs, A-player problems

 

Kahler, T. (1975). Drivers—The Key to the Process Script.  Transactional Analysis Journal, 5:3

 

http://www.kahlercommunications.com/

 

 

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