How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

Be Perfect

Explanations > Motivation > Kahler's drivers > Be Perfect

This is one of the five drivers originally identified in the field of Transactional Analysis by Taibi Kahler. Here are some simple and useful notes on it.

Imperative

I must be perfect, wonderful, correct in every way.
I must succeed in everything I do.
I must get top marks and win.

Identification

Exact language, including qualification when they are not sure, such as 'probably', and absolutes when they are, such as 'absolutely'.
Always neat and well-groomed.
Never completely satisfied with what they do.

Benefits

Hard-working, with excellent quality output.
May achieve great things.

Problems

Fears of failure and losing control, and subsequent over-compensation.
Over-work. Not finishing things for fear of criticism.
Expecting others to be perfect too.

Treatment

Laughter.
Praise, including for less-than-perfect work.
Reframing of what 'perfect' really means to 'enough'.
Be very specific with criticism (and praise).

So what?

Recognize these drivers in yourself and others and treat them accordingly.