How we change what others think, feel, believe and do |
False Modesty
Techniques > Conversation techniques > Conversational Traps > False Modesty Description | Example | Discussion | See also
DescriptionIn conversation, when a person is praised or is revealed to have done something praiseworthy, it presents a dilemma for them. Do they smile and boast or do they act modestly, downplaying their achievements? A third way, often used by people who would like to boast but know the social perils of this, is to use false modesty. False modesty appears where a person downplays praiseworthy achievements, but does so in a visible or extended way that actually seeks praise and a raising of their social status. Types of false modesty include:
ExampleWell, it was just luck really. I happened to be there when people were being picked. Yes, by I wasn't that brave... DiscussionFalse modesty done well is so subtle it achieves its goals of further praise and status. In practice, however, it is often detected and leads to the opposite effect. Deceivers tend to think they are cleverer than the other person but do not notice their failure to deceive as they are stuck in their own heads. For modesty to work, briefly acknowledge deserved praise but avoid acting in ways that actively seek further admiration. In particular do not act in ways that promote yourself over others. Be a little embarrassed by praise but do not over-do this as it may be too effective. See also
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Site Menu |
| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings | |
Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories | |
Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help | |
More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes | |
Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate | |
| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links | |
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