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'Clever me' Game

 

Explanations > Behaviours > Games >  'Clever me' Game

Purpose | Game play | Discussion | So what?

  

Purpose

Primary: Attention, Identity

Secondary: Social capital

Game play

  • A does something that displays intellect, skills, values, etc.
  • B perceives what A has done, for example by A manipulating the situation so B 'finds out'.
  • B congratulates A on being so clever, good, etc.
  • A gains social position and identity reinforcement and hence feels good.

Discussion

This also gains B social capital for their recognition of A, and so A may repay this with other forms of recognition of B.

This can be a parent-child pattern where B is the parent giving approval to A.

In its dysfunctional form, A does not repay the social capital and simply continues to seek approval and recognition. B either falls into a consistency trap (where they feel obliged to behave consistently and hence have to keep on giving strokes) or is affected by reactance and snaps back, allowing A to then flip into a 'Poor me' game. Either way, A wins.

So what?

If you want others to recognize what you have done, set up the situation where they find out. Thank them by recognizing them in return.

Recognize other people when they have done well. Notice where they seem to be angling for approval. When you congratulate them, you may also be positioning yourself as a parent figure, from which you can continue parent-child conversations.

See also

Transactional Analysis, 'Poor me' Game, 'Recognize me' game, Reactance Theory, Consistency Theory

Eric Berne, (1964), Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships, Balantine Books

Thomas Harris (1996), I'm OK-You're OK, Avon books

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Site Menu

| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings |

Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories |

Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help |

More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes |

Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate |

 

 

Please help and share:

 

Quick links

Disciplines

* Argument
* Brand management
* Change Management
* Coaching
* Communication
* Counseling
* Game Design
* Human Resources
* Job-finding
* Leadership
* Marketing
* Politics
* Propaganda
* Rhetoric
* Negotiation
* Psychoanalysis
* Sales
* Sociology
* Storytelling
* Teaching
* Warfare
* Workplace design

Techniques

* Assertiveness
* Body language
* Change techniques
* Closing techniques
* Conversation
* Confidence tricks
* Conversion
* Creative techniques
* General techniques
* Happiness
* Hypnotism
* Interrogation
* Language
* Listening
* Negotiation tactics
* Objection handling
* Propaganda
* Problem-solving
* Public speaking
* Questioning
* Using repetition
* Resisting persuasion
* Self-development
* Sequential requests
* Storytelling
* Stress Management
* Tipping
* Using humor
* Willpower

Principles

+ Principles

Explanations

* Behaviors
* Beliefs
* Brain stuff
* Conditioning
* Coping Mechanisms
* Critical Theory
* Culture
* Decisions
* Emotions
* Evolution
* Gender
* Games
* Groups
* Habit
* Identity
* Learning
* Meaning
* Memory
* Motivation
* Models
* Needs
* Personality
* Power
* Preferences
* Research
* Relationships
* SIFT Model
* Social Research
* Stress
* Trust
* Values

Theories

* Alphabetic list
* Theory types

And

About
Guest Articles
Blog!
Books
Changes
Contact
Guestbook
Quotes
Students
Webmasters

 

| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links |

© Changing Works 2002-
Massive Content — Maximum Speed