How we change what others think, feel, believe and do |
The ChangingMinds Blog!
ChangingMinds Blog! > Blog Archive > 11-Jun-08
Wednesday 11-June-08 Coaching euphemismOf recent years, 'coaching' has sprung from something to do with sports into boardrooms and kitchens around the country, in its two main forms. 'Executive coaching' seeks to help highly-paid business people to eliminate weaknesses and better earn their salaries, whilst 'life coaching' helps more ordinary folks cope with everyday pressures. Many of the methods and techniques used in coaching come from the realms of therapy and counselling, which gives a hint at the development of the industry. For a long time people in all walks of life have realised that they have had difficulties with a number of very human issues, from self-esteem to communicating with others. The problem, however was that going to a counsellor or therapist seemed like admitting to some kind of mental illness or abnormality. With such stigma attached, it is not surprising that many chose coping over addressing their internal issues. But then someone came up with the brilliant idea of calling it 'coaching'. At a stroke, the same thing was reframed from something negative to something positive. Instead of treating mental illness or deficiency, it was now about increasing mental fitness and honing personal skills. A euphemism is a weasel word used to soften an unpleasant reality. A reality of life is we're all broken and are just doing our best with what we've got, although we hate to admit this. Happily, with coaching we never need to, at least not to those who matter most to us and our careers. Coaches thus become confidantes, therapists, challengers, guides or whatever works. At the very least, they provide a welcome respite in the frantic day where you can be yourself and sound off all you like. . Your commentsRecently, I posted an entry in my blog comparing a good coach to a good
caricature artist. It's a gift, whether we're talking kids sports or everyday
encouragement, or paid therapeutic coaching.
But do you think empathy can be learned? Or do you think it's purely a right
brain dominated thing? Book after book abounds, suggesting that right brain
thinking can be enhanced by nurturing the creative side, but can empathy, which
is also a right brain attribute, be developed, by developing other right brain
skills? I mean for me, when I have had the experience of being treated poorly,
it makes it all the more likely that I won't pass that treatment on to others,
because I know how it feels.
Dave replies: Empathy can still be learned, at the minimum as a technique, observing body language and responding appropriately. It is founded on care. Nevertheless, those who learn such strategies will never have the deeper natural empathy of others. You are on the money. "Exceptional coaching" is active listening, empathic
listening, holding up the mirror to a client, asking questions which both cause
new thinking but also which better connect the client's feelings and their
thinking and their action, suggesting frameworks for thinking. If the coach
takes his or her ego out of the picture (not feeling any pressure to be
brilliant or helpful, just being there as coach), a climate of safety and
exploration is created. I am in the process of reading a book entitled, Becoming A Person Of
Influence, by John Maxwell. I would highly recommend it. It's all about
encouraging others and being a positive influence in their lives. Dave, regards I definitely agree with the fact that simply calling something by a different name, such as 'coaching' can make someone feel loads better about themselves! While everyone has what it takes to care for someone else, not everyone is
capable of leading a successful coaching program. Which is where coaching
training comes in! -- Tucker M |
Site Menu |
| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings | |
Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories | |
Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help | |
More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes | |
Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate | |
You can buy books here |
And the big |
| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links | |
|
Site Menu |
| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings | |
Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories | |
Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help | |
More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes | |
Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate | |
| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links | |
|