How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

Connection Language

Techniques > Use of language > Persuasive Language > Connection Language

Method | Example | Discussion | See also

Method

Use language to increase or decrease the connection between things. The things to connect can include you, others people, ideas, things and so on.

For example:

Us and them

Talking about people, make them inclusively closer by saying 'we' or 'us', or position them separately by saying 'they' or 'them'.

This and that

When you talk about other people and things, 'this' makes something closer, whilst 'that' pushes it further away.

With and without

Words such as 'with' and 'together' connect, suggesting doing things jointly. Oher words such as 'each' and 'independent' disconnect and separate.

Example

He's one of us. She's one of them.

I like this, but I am not so sure about that.

With this, we can make a difference.

Discussion

We think in an associative way, we use the natural patterning nature of our brains. Memory is Association principle and when we commit something to memory, we do so by associating it with existing memories and schemas.

When we bring things towards us, we connect with them, leading to bonding that joins our identity with that of other people, ideas, things and so on. In doing so, we make them a part of us and so forgive, approve and agree with them.

In this way, you can subtly increase the connection between your targets and the people and things you want them to like. Also, you can use separation language that causes them to dissociate themselves from other things.

Separation can also be generally exaggerated by talking about all kinds of differences, from how a person looks to the derivation of ideas. In contrast, talking about similarities and using words such as 'like' bring things together, joining their identities.

Subtlety of use is improved by using smaller words that are quickly passed over but which nevertheless have a disproportionate effect.