changingminds.org

How we change what others think, feel, believe and do

| Menu | Quick | Books | Share | Search | Settings |

Reflecting Words

 

Techniques > Conversation techniques > Reflecting > Reflecting Words

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

 

Description

Listen to the words and phrases that the other person uses to determine the most significant ones.

Then use these words within your responses.

Most of use have preferred words that we use more than others (mine include 'significant', 'particular', 'such as' and 'effective'). These are particularly effective words to repeat.

There are types of word often fall into the 'preferred' category, typically those where there is a large choice, such as superlatives (great, fantastic, wonderful, etc.).

A way of watching for these words as well as their frequency is in the emphasis that the person may place on them.

Also reflect noises, such as mmm, um, er, etc.

Be careful with this not to over-do it. If they detect that you are copying them, you will have reverse effect to that desired.

Example

Other: I think we could go out more often. I also think we could do very different things each week.
You: Mmm. I think a weekend away would be good. What do you think?

Other: Steven has a rather interesting idea.
You: That's interesting. I'd rather like to hear what Jean has to say about it.

Discussion

If you can spot the words that others use and use them in what you say, then they will naturally find what you say more attractive.

When we use the words of others, then they hear themselves in us. And nothing is more interesting than me!

See also

Parroting, Reflecting verbal style

Site Menu

| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings |

Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories |

Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Links | Help |

More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes |

Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font |

 

You can buy books here

More Kindle books:

And the big
paperback book


Look inside

 

Please help and share:

 

Quick links

Disciplines

* Argument
Brand management
* Change Management
Coaching
+ Communication
Counseling
+ Game Design
+ Human Resources
+ Job-finding
* Leadership
+ Marketing
Politics
+ Propaganda
+ Rhetoric
* Negotiation
* Psychoanalysis
* Sales
Sociology
+ Storytelling
+ Teaching
* Warfare
Workplace design

Techniques

+ Assertiveness
* Body language
* Change techniques
* Closing techniques
+ Conversation
Confidence tricks
* Conversion
* Creative techniques
* General techniques
+ Happiness
+ Hypnotism
+ Interrogation
* Language
+ Listening
* Negotiation tactics
* Objection handling
+ Propaganda
* Problem-solving
* Public speaking
+ Questioning
+ Using repetition
* Resisting persuasion
+ Self-development
+ Sequential requests
Stress Management
* Tipping
Using humor
* Willpower

Principles

+ Principles

Explanations

* Behaviors
+ Beliefs
* Brain stuff
Conditioning
+ Coping Mechanisms
+ Critical Theory
+ Culture
+ Decisions
* Emotions
+ Evolution
Gender
+ Games
Groups
Habit
+ Identity
+ Learning
+ Meaning
Memory
+ Motivation
+ Models
* Needs
+ Personality
+ Power
* Preferences
+ Research
+ Relationships
+ SIFT Model
+ Social Research
Stress
+ Trust
+ Values

Theories

* Alphabetic list
* Theory types

And

- About
- Guest Articles
- Blog!
- Books
- Changes
- Contact
- Guestbook
- Links
- Quotes
- Students
- Webmasters

 

| Home | Top | Menu | Quick Links |

Changing Minds 2002-2014
Massive Content -- Maximum Speed