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Review: How To Click With People

 

Book reviews > How To Click With People

 

Dr. Rick Kirschner (2011). How To Click With People, NY: Hyperion

 

Have you ever met someone with whom you just got on with really well from the word go? Maybe you noticed that they seemed to do this with everyone, effortlessly. If you want to get on with other people like this, quickly building a good relationship with them, then according to Dr. Rick Kirschner you need to learn how to 'click'.

'Clicking' is a common term for finding rapport, connecting or bonding with other people. In a deeper sense it means joining of identities so, to some extent, each person sees the other person as a part of the self. Most of us would like to be better at this. Probably much better. The purpose of this book is hence to help you become a better 'clicker'.

This does not come cheaply. There is no magic wand and you have to treat people well whilst conveying personal warmth. Fortunately, the book is full of advice on how to do such things, from connected listening to

Several models are used to help characterize people and so customize the approach to them. Four basic styles of communication are described (action, accuracy, approval and appreciation), with each having the right time and place and being matched against the style of the other person.  There are also six types of motivation (values, reward, challenge, esteem, purpose, feelings), with individuals being influenced by some more than others. There is a useful chapter on clicking in situations of conflict. There is even a chapter on clicking in the digital world, by phone, email, social media and so on.

Whilst some underlying theory is given, above all this a practical book. With plenty of 'how tos' and examples, it provides many ways to fulfil the promise of the title and, if you are not yet perfect, will help you get much better at 'clicking'.

 

 

Buy Me

Dr. Rick Kirschner. How To Click With People, NY: Hyperion, 2011 

Connecting with others is a critical first step to good relationships and effective influence. Dr Rick shows you how, in this clear and readable book. 

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