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ChangingMinds Blog! > Blog Archive > 21-May-08

Wednesday 21-May-08

Teenage turnaround

I've written an occasional blog over the past year or so about the trials and tribulations with my teenage son. It's a common problem, it seems, and I've had many sympathetic and helpful communications on the subject with people around the world. This update is, at last, hopeful and positive.

The critical event was, perhaps predictably, getting a job. I noticed that a local Tesco store was extending and looking for new staff so my wife took him along and he got an offer to work on the new meat counter. Nothing to set the world alight, maybe, but it was full-time and more than shelf-stacking.

He'd not lasted in other jobs and we'd learned not to expect much, yet we were still hopeful. Tesco is the leading grocer in the UK and is known as a meritocracy where those who do well can find a good career.

Almost immediately we noticed a change in him. He came home cheerful and actually chatted to us about how he was getting on. He completed his training in record time at a nearby store and helped out with the setup of the new store. When others were late he took over their roles. He arrived at work early and was never in a hurry to leave.

He has been there a month now and has already been promoted to second in charge of the fresh food counters (fish, meat, cheese and deli). Last week he reorganised the store room, for which he got a commendation from the store manager, then spent time on his computer at home making signs to put on the shelves.

His evolution into full adulthood isn't complete yet and we still get some moodiness and outbursts, yet he has come on a long way in a short space of time. Where he goes in life is his choice and responsibility, though he could do a lot worse than stay with Tesco. They are known as a meritocracy and he has a lot of ability. Whatever he does, we have our fingers crossed for him.

Your comments

That is simply wonderful news! I am happy to hear this good news!

-- Gene

I was so pleased to hear this great news. Our son is currently going through the staying in his room playing computer games all day and all night phase and I was feeling absolutely desperate, and found your previous blog. It was wonderful to feel that we weren't alone, and even better to have some hope that things will change. No amount of cajoling or pleading will persuade him to apply for any jobs at present (he says he knows he won't like it so what's the point?) I don't know if we should just leave him alone, which is what he wants, because he regards any kind of offer to help as criticism. Like your son, he is a lovely, gentle, good, intelligent person and it's so painful to see him locking himself up in this prison of his own making. Your blog has given me hope that things will change. Do you think we should leave him alone or look for jobs for him in the hope one will turn up he might try?

Thanks again and very best wishes for your family

Lesley

Dave replies:
Hi Lesley -- growing up is hard, especially for some. My son is not out of the woods yet -- he still has his sullen days, but he is slowly improving. Most importantly, he has held down the job and has even been promoted.

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