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ChangingMinds Blog! > Blog Archive > 18-Apr-07
Wednesday 18-April-07 The falsehood of self-image
How we see ourselves is a rather tricky subject, as we are inside the machine,
as it were. We are also very strongly affected by
identity needs, and it is
how we define ourselves that has much to do with it. Basic human needs as
defined by Abraham Maslow 1943 includes a sense of belonging, the esteem of
others and achieving our potential.
The importance of how other people see us is such that we see ourselves
through the eyes of other people (it is called the 'Looking-glass
Self'). The
problem here is that we have to guess what others are thinking and often get
it wildly wrong. Typically, we assume that others are forming strong opinions
about us when they actually may hardly notice us. Attention can be good,
however, and 'Social
Facilitation' is in effect when athletes put in their
best ever performances at the Olympics or other big meets.
Childhood has, in the
Freudian sense, a significant effect on our self-image.
If a teacher or parent tells a child 'you're stupid' then the child may well
assume that this is how they must act. I have just spoken with my daughter who
has a friend who just dropped out of university in his final year just before
his finals, which he was pretty much guaranteed to pass. He has a dominating
mother, which I suspect has something to do this this. Thus, to some extend,
we see ourselves through the supposed eyes of childhood significant adults.
Despite the complexities of
identity, the good news is that we still have choice. When we can see how things are
affecting us, we can combat these effects and make conscious choices about who
we want to see when we look in the mirror. It is of course not as easy as
that, but with determination, learning and courage, we can be the people we
want to be.
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| Home | Top | Quick Links | Settings | |
Main sections: | Disciplines | Techniques | Principles | Explanations | Theories | |
Other sections: | Blog! | Quotes | Guest articles | Analysis | Books | Help | |
More pages: | Contact | Caveat | About | Students | Webmasters | Awards | Guestbook | Feedback | Sitemap | Changes | |
Settings: | Computer layout | Mobile layout | Small font | Medium font | Large font | Translate | |
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